Somewhat pathetically

An excerpt from the Grimwell’s thread that I also archived here.

The topic isn’t SWG but more personal. My stance on what I’m currently doing with this site and outside.

Darniaq:
Analyzing games is fun, but ultimately, it’s a labor of love. Even if ideas mentioned here, or previously, or in the future, are implemented, there’s almost no chance anyone will get credit as the originator. SOE cannot work that way. Partly it devalues the efforts of their own employee. Partly it’s a legal thing where idea originators can then stake financial claim upon the idea implementator. Murky waters legal teams would rather stay away from.

I’m not sure what you mean here but if I post freely my ideas is because I’m actually HAPPY if someone reads them and uses them (steal them or whatever). Even if this person takes the credit.

My point of view is like a ‘test’ (not a case that many judge me as an attention-whore). In the case the ideas I suggest are really seen as valuable, ‘they’ can propose me directly to work because I become useful. If I’m useful it means it’s easier to have me under control and work full time on that with the proper tools. Because I’m a resource. Why steal bits and parts when you can have the direct source that just awaits to be fully used?

So if my ideas are used it means that what I said was valuable. For me this acknowledgment is an incredible HUGE step forward.

The rest is because I obviously like discussing and writing about all this, I developed my own tiny competence so I do this as a direct consequence of something that I do ‘spontaneously’. If in another life I’ll also be able to actually use concretely all this I’d be really happy, for now I do not even know if that tiny competence is worth something. And even if it is I’m tied to real-life situations that don’t portrait any form of possibility in that direction. I know I’m not going anywhere.

So the result is similar to the disclaimer I added to my site. A situation with no ‘exit’ that delivers a lot of frustration because it is closed. Since I’m not going anywhere, the fact that I can still, eventually, contribute with my own ideas, is a huge dream. Credit or not I’m absolutely happy if it happens. It’s already beyond what I expect since I know how silly is the dream of being a real designer.

After a reality check the tiniest result is a miracle.

No really, think about it. Having my ideas have an impact on a game? I wasn’t just a castaway internet loser?

Better keep the dreams under control, one day I’ll regret having wasted so much time studying something with no concrete use :)

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